Everyone Is Shocked That Andrew Ross Sorkin Is Shocked That Wall Street Is Greedy

In yet another tortuous diatribe meant to endear him to delicious Vassar alumnae, Andrew Ross Sorkin (ARS) cites a study that proclaims Wall Street is once again infested with brains that are different and insane and bloodthirsty and, of course, greedy.

I don’t need to do a study to proclaim, loudly: Greed never left Wall Street. It also never left Nebraska, Paris, New Zealand, the Brazilian rainforest, or anywhere else humans may dwell.

ARS must know he’s set himself up for nothing but accusations of hypocrisy. He’s successful, famous, handsome, on TV…rich, I tells ya. Unless he gives every dollar away, he can’t help but be a fraud. But that’s OK. We’re all hypocrites. We have to get over it.

I defend no one. Wall Street douchebaggery (we need a new word, for use of the preceding now actually connotes said characteristic in the writer/speaker) is indefensible, but so is journalism so one-sided and utterly blind to reality that readers roll their eyes upon sight of the author’s name in a byline. ARS is a living joke.

Stare into my dreamy liberal eyes and you too could resent yet make a living off Wall Street.
Stare into my dreamy liberal eyes and you too could resent yet make a living off Wall Street.

He’s a talented joke, so it needn’t be this way. We know where you stand, ARS, and that’s the trouble. I suppose just writing for the NYT tells us where you stand, but you have to have learned along the way that objectivity in journalism is at least somewhat important.

When I Google “objectiveness in journalism,” the second result is a story entitled “There Is No Objectivity in Journalism—Get Over It.”

I’m a pretty mellow guy. I get over things easily. I flow lazily along the meandering river of life, and other such flimsy metaphors. But as an averred news junkie searching for meaning in the tarred chaos of life, I expect some objectivity from my journalists, especially from the supposed best and brightest.

Yet, I’ve had to spend my whole adult life flipping between stories in The New York Times (lefty pinkos) and The Wall Street Journal (righty whackos) and allow the average of my resulting thoughts and reactions pass as a proxy for objective journalism. I’m in the middle, alone.

The living legacy of ARS merely amplifies The Problem: We can no longer speak to each other rationally. We cannot agree. ARS is even smarter than he seems. He has keenly manufactured a slick image as the undisputed overlord of the liberal media machine. Of course, he can’t live without Wall Street greed now. It’s this pandering pony’s only trick. The interminable disagreement is his oxygen.

Justin Timberlake is probably in the best position to inform ARS that it’s like he’s a mirror, and staring back at him is Bill O’Reilly. You know it’s the truth, ARS.

Get over it.

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One thought on “Everyone Is Shocked That Andrew Ross Sorkin Is Shocked That Wall Street Is Greedy

  1. Scott Thompson listed his degree as being in accounting and computer science at a time when
    computer science was hosted at math, electronics or business departments. Patti Hart listed
    her business degree as marketing and economics. But Obama also listed his political science
    degree as national security for which there was only one senior year course and one graduate
    seminar. Likewise his fellow travellers have managed to hawk their defunct soviet degrees.
    Degrees meaningless are when they can bestow and deny them so frivolously.

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