Now that you ask, I’ve been incredibly busy.
I stopped playing Scramble With Friends, which has freed up several hours a day for productive activity. You might think I would get around to penning witty blog posts with all that time! But, no, life gets in the way, as they say. I think someone says that, sometimes.
I’m really into community these days, now that I’m king of the ‘burbs. I often go for long walks on warm leafy evenings and think to myself how lucky I am to live in such a tidy, friendly community. Then I go home and lock the door and wonder who my neighbors are while I crank up the Netflix. I watch documentaries, because I’m not into wasting time. I like to grow my brains.
I think a lot about what it must be like to be Matthew McConaughey. Like other busy important people, I have limited time to squeeze in “TV” (do they still call it that?), so I only watch the most critically acclaimed offerings, like True Detective. I’m pretty cool, but man, that guy is ten different kinds of cool.
I’ve been going to yoga on Sunday nights. I’m trying to slim down like Rust Cohle (flashback Rust Cohle, not smoking-like-a-chimney current Rust Cohle!). Don’t tell any of my guy friends.
I don’t have any guy friends anymore. They all have kids, and they only hang out with their kids.
I’ve been thinking about thinking about maybe trying to think about having some kids. When the heck does Game of Thrones start up again??
My hair isn’t growing back. I know you thought it might, but you were wrong.
I went to college with Seth Meyers, and he’s way better than me in a lot of ways. He’s all over the place with his new job and everything. That’s made me feel kind of bad about myself.
I’m obsessed with DuoLingo. My wife thinks I’m wasting time and annoying her with the constant creepy French robotic droning, but I’m learning a whole new language! C’est magnifique! See??
I’ve been watching all your videos on TheFacebook. I still call it that, because that’s what it was called when I first started using it. The kids over there just bought one of the 40 apps that I never use. I used to work at Yahoo! when those WhatsApp guys were there. Everyone I used to work with at Yahoo! has more money than I do.
I’ve been pretty sad lately.
I wish there was some way for me to randomly blast out little snippets of my life to mostly acquaintances so I could feel just a little bit better about wasting the past two months of my life while everyone else got richer and better looking and more successful.
That’s a lot to think about! Whew, I told you I’ve been busy! Lol, you totes got all the details of the last two crazy months when you were so worried about me because I hadn’t written a blog post for you to glance at in your feed and not read (rhymin’ and stealin’!). That’s how you know I’m alive. It’s replaced us talking.
But, hey, you asked!
Oh. Right. You didn’t.